DEEP RIVER, Conn. – A local man has set a new world record for the longest time a person has unknowingly held a world record.

Two members of the Guiness World Record staff surprised Darrell Conrad, 63, when they arrived at his house with a commemorative plaque, a fistful of balloons, and cameras from the local media. Conrad opened the door with hair disheveled, bathrobe open and just a pair of boxer briefs underneath, and the unmistakable look of confusion plastered on his face.

“We were kind of expected a look of shock and awe,” said Lauren Baker, a consultant for Guiness World Records. “Afterall, it’s not every day you become a world record holder; it’s a really special day for everyone involved. I’m glad I was able to be a part of it.”

Conrad did not share the same level of enthusiasm as he slammed the door in everyone’s faces. In a muffled tone, the visitors could hear him shout, “unless you’re Ed McMahon with a giant Publisher’s Clearing House check, go the fuck away.”

According to Guiness’ records, Baker’s first world record came in 1974 when he only 14 years old and was awarded for the world’s longest lasting volcanic eruption from a homemade volcano made out of mashed potatoes. Baker was apparently never notified of his record-breaking root vegetable creation because the plaque and official certificate were sent to his teacher’s house, Mrs. Cameron, because she was the one who submitted the volcano on Baker’s behalf.

Unfortunately, Mrs. Cameron passed away during that school year’s winter holiday break and devoured by her hungry cats before she could present Baker with the prestigious reward. The mistake was discovered 49 years later when Cameron’s children were going through their mother’s belongings at a local storage facility.

“The bills are a little tight right now, so we thought we could sell some of mom’s stuff to help make ends meet,” said Geoff Cameron. “My sister found Darrell’s certificate of authenticity and we thought it was a little weird that she had it. But then, as we continued to dig through her crap, we started to wonder whether or not he even knew about this. Then, I joked, I wonder if this meant he could have another world record for not knowing he had a world record. We submitted it to Guinness just for shits and giggles. We didn’t think that would be an actual record.”

“We actually get a lot of strange world record attempts,” said Baker. “Last week, we had someone attempt the world record for the fastest time to eat a dozen cans of SpaghettiOs without a spoon or can opener. That was weird, but I think this is the first time we’ve ever presented an award to someone who didn’t know they’d earned it.”

We made several attempts to reach out to Conrad for comment, but our calls went unanswered.

According to Baker, since he has still not been officially informed of either his world records, his uninformed streak will continue until such time he learns of his achievements. His current record of 49 years breaks the previous record of 48 years and 51 weeks held by Harold Bradley who unknowingly set the first record in 1850 when he walked the furthest distance without knowing where he was going.

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