EA announces new game that’s just a bunch of microtransactions

REDWOOD SHORES, Calif. – Electronic Arts, the studio behind video game masterpieces such as Dead Space Ignition, has announced it’s launching a new game that’s been criticized as nothing more than a visually interested microtransaction storefront.

The company is no stranger to criticism. Most of that came as part of their acquisition and dissolution of competitor companies and anti-consumer practices and lawsuits which led to the Consumerist naming it the “worst company in America” in 2012 and 2013.

“We’re hoping this new title will breathe a life into our portfolio of games that we haven’t felt since we bought Maxis and tapped into the wallets of all The Sims players out there,” said EA spokesman Thad Norton. “Oh, and I guess we’re also really excited about making a game that our diehard fans will be talking about for years.”

The game’s beta, a pre-launch version of the game that allows players to experience the game with a majority of its content in order for developers to gather feedback, has left many people wondering what the game’s end state will look like.

“I had to pay $2.99 to unlock the game’s prologue,” said Damien Grant, a popular Twitch streamer with more than 10 million followers. “Then I had to pay $19.99 to unlock the character creation tool, which was required to play the prologue. All that was in addition to the $99.99 I paid for the deluxe super edition of the game, which gave me access to the beta.”

Microtransactions are not new to video games. In fact, most games offer some form of in-game microtransactions, especially free-to-play games like Fortnite, Apex Legends, and Counter-Strike 2. However, while most of these transactions are for skins that allow players to alter their cosmetics or bonus boxes that give players power ups and new in-game equipment, this new game has set a new low bar for a company that once had its loot boxes in FIFA 20 referred to as predatory gambling.

“It cost $1.99 to make certain dialog choices that would’ve progressed the story how I wanted,” said Grant. “It was then another $2.99 to start the next chapter of the game and $0.99 to save the game. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this game is nothing but a bunch of microtransactions.”

The use of microtransactions has come under fire recently with the overwhelming popularity of Larian Studio’s Dungeon’s & Dragons inspired Baldur’s Gate 3, which the studio has said will never contain any kind of microtransactions.

“There are no in-game purchases in our game,” said a Larian Studios representative. “We believe in providing a complete and immersive gaming experience without the need for additional purchases. Enjoy the game to its fullest without any additional costs or microtransactions.”

This lack of in-game purchases has ruffled the feathers of many other studios, some going as far as saying gamers shouldn’t expect this to be an industry norm moving forward.

“I remember the days when games were complete when they launched and the only unlockable content was done so through in-game achievements, like completing a level in a certain amount of time or finding hidden objects,” said Grant. “It’s refreshing that some studios are returning to those roots and giving customers a complete game at launch.”

When asked if EA plans of revisiting some of the more aggressive transactions in this new game, Norton laughed. “We’re a multi-billion dollar business. You don’t get here by selling games for $70 and then moving on. You want all the content? That costs more. You want your character to look better than a cum-filled sock on a teen’s bedroom floor? Be prepared to dish out that cash. We know what the people want.”

The new game is scheduled to launch during the first quarter of next year with additional content releasing every other week for 30 weeks before it gets relaunched as a special, remastered anniversary edition for another $80.

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