WASHINGTON D.C. – Hunter Biden, son of president Joe Biden, delivered a powerful speech at the U.S. Capitol in the wake of Republican lawmakers’ recent inquiry to impeach his father over his ties to Hunter’s alleged shady business dealings.

In his surprise appearance, Biden blasted the GOP for their continuous attempts to weaponize his previous addiction to drugs in order to railroad his father’s presidency and called them out for refusing to allow his testimony to be open to the public. All that was par for the course, but it was his unexpected request for lawmakers to return his laptop that caught people off guard.

“For six years, I’ve been the target of the unrelenting Trump attack machine, shouting ‘Where’s Hunter?’” Hunter Biden told reporters outside the Capitol. “Well, here’s my answer: I am here … I am here to testify at a public hearing today.”

“All I ask in return is a few hours with my old laptop to download some old Sims 4 save files,” he added. “I’ve got about 1,000 hours of gameplay, including six generations of Goth family members, that I really don’t want to lose. I’ll be happy to give it back after I get those save files because there’s literally nothing else of importance on the machine.”

Republican lawmakers said this unorthodox request is nothing more than the Biden family attempting to deceitfully cover up and destroy evidence of Hunter’s wrongdoings and the president’s connection to them.

“I’ve seen a lot of really bizarre tactics to try and conceal incriminating evidence, but I’ve never seen anything like this before,” said Paul Sheffield, a D.C.-based lawyer who’s been working with Congressional republicans to legally justify their inquiries into Hunter Biden. “We’re not inclined to respect Mr. Biden’s request on the grounds that he would be tampering with important, credible evidence in our case against him and the entire Biden crime family.”

The controversy surrounding Hunter Biden’s laptop started in 2019 when it was alleged that he abandoned the machine at a Delaware PC shop the year prior. The New York Post published a front-page story prior to the 2020 presidential election with emails that were supposedly from the laptop and showed corruption by then-Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden. A forensic analyst confirmed the authenticity of some of those emails, which has prompted the Republican’s persistent inquiry into the additional contents of the laptop.

“They’ve already scrutinized every file on that computer,” said Biden. “They know what’s on there. They’ve seen my save files. They’re only holding on to them because they know I want them. They think they can use them as a bargaining chip. It’s honestly pathetic.”

A senior GOP member, who’s familiar with the investigation, has confirmed there are Sims 4 save files on the laptop as well as several NSFW mods for the family simulation game.

“What? the pixilation annoys me,” said Biden. “They can keep those if they want, those are easy enough to download again. Although, I do have a lot of custom content on there, too. I’ll tell you what, I will appease these knuckleheads and do a closed-door testimony with them if they promise to let me download my save files and my custom content.”

Biden’s newest conditions have been sent to the Congressional leadership but we have not heard whether or not the terms have been accepted.

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