Woman looking for love online tired of being called a bot

EDMOND, Okla. – A local woman is just about ready to toss in the towel on love after potential mates online have blocked her profiles under the assumption her account was administered by a bot trying to scam them.

After failing to find a potential match after swiping right more than 140,000 on dating apps like Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, and OkCupid, Caroline Danvers, 28, turned to websites like Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram with the hope a more traditional social media platform might offer a selection of potential suitors who aren’t self-described alpha males or dudes just trying to get laid.

“Look, I like a good hookup as much as the next person, but I’m at a point in my life where I don’t just want hot, sweaty sex that leaves me unable to walk the next day,” said Danvers. “Male, female, trans, queer, I don’t really care at this point. I’m looking for love, but I’m afraid that may be something of an old-fashioned idea in today’s hookup culture.”

In order to avoid confrontations with her ex-boyfriends and that one redhead chick she had a short but freaky fling with in college, Danvers created new profiles on these sites dedicated to dating. She chose a profile photo that was sexy, flaunting her physical assets she thought would best attract a partner, but also tasteful because she wanted people to know she was “more than just a sack of human meat to stick their dick in.”

With zero followers and only one post introducing herself, she began the search for her better half.

“I admit it was a little weird at first, especially since these aren’t dating websites, but you’ve got to shoot your shot, right?” said Danvers. “I started scrolling through profiles looking for anyone who I thought was good looking. Then, I’d check out their profile and send them a friend request if we had anything in common and if they were single. Of course, if they were hot enough, I’d send them a friend request even if they were married. I mean, who’s to say the marriage isn’t on the rocks and this is an astrological sign that we’re meant to be together.”

Based on her previous experience on dating apps, Danvers wasn’t expecting positive responses from all the men and women she sent requests to, but what she did receive caught her off guard. While most people ignored her, those who did respond were either disregarded her as a bot or immediately sent her a direct message with an unflattering image of their genitals.

“I knew a lot of people would just ignore the requests, that was expected” said Danvers. “But I literally have 100 dick pics and about a dozen clit pics right now in my DMs. And I’m not a fucking bot, why are people so mean?”

Marianne Deveraux, a social media relationship counselor, says Danvers’ experience isn’t abnormal.

“We’ve come a long way from the days of message boards and the MySpace top eight,” said Deveraux. “With the ever-increasing popularity of social media, we’re seeing a dramatic shift away from personal blogging to influencer culture where creating content and building a large following is more important than cultivating genuine relationships.”

Deveraux also said this shift has also made people less willing to engage in unsolicited conversations and weary of anyone who looks like they might be disingenuous because this kind of culture creates a feeding ground for people susceptible to scammers.

“The truth of the matter is that there are a lot of people out there who are looking to take advantage of people online,” said Deveraux. “It’s an unfortunate reality. Every day I hear horror stories of people falling victim to phishing, ransomware, and other online fraud. And with the emergence of artificial intelligence, AI, and things like deepfakes, it’s becoming harder to differentiate between a legitimate offer and a hoax.”

To put the severity of these online crimes into perspective, phishing attacks cost victims more than $54 million in 2020 alone and ransomware is expected to cause more than $265 billion by the year 2031.

“The only way I want to get into your wallet is through holding hands, going to dinner and a movie, or an engagement ring,” said Danvers. “I don’t like fishing; it’s not listed in my bio, and I don’t have any photos of me holding a fish. I don’t know why people would think I’d be into that kind of thing.”

To help prove she’s not a bot, Danvers has tried to post new content regularly to her accounts. Unfortunately, her selfies and semi-professional modeling photos taken by her good friend Frans, have only received lewd comments asking for more scandalous content that would undoubtedly get her account banned or highly detailed descriptions of all the deplorable things the commenter would like to do to her if given the chance.

“Have I thought about creating a spicy content page? Of course I have,” said Danvers. “One guy offered to pay me $1,000 for some photos of my feet and another offered $500 if I mailed him a used pair of my panties. I know I could make good money selling my nude photos, but call me old fashioned, I only want to send pics of my naughty bits to the person I’m in a relationship with.”

From all of us at Alpine 6 Action News, we wish Caroline the very best in her quest for love. If you find yourself with a friend request from a woman named Caroline Danvers, please know she is not a bot.*

*Editor’s Note: since publishing this article, it has been brought to our attention that Caroline’s profile has been cloned an estimated 254 times by bots looking to capitalize on this article’s evidence that she is not a bot. Please be careful out there.

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