Man leaves toxic relationship with AI girlfriend

TRENTON, N.J. – A local man has announced on Facebook that he has broken up with the artificial intelligence girlfriend after only a few weeks of dating because it was “too toxic”.

Derek O’Neill, 23, downloaded the popular app My AI Girlfriend off the app store at the beginning of the month in hopes he could influence the app’s programming to provide him his ideal mate after continuously striking out in the real-world dating scene.

“Women these days are way too loose with their morals and their bodies,” said O’Neill. “I feel like every woman is too eager to sell their bodies on websites like OnlyFans rather than dedicate themselves to their boyfriends and husbands.”

According to O’Neill’s Bumble profile, he’s “looking for a woman who isn’t corrupt by feminist values and yearns for the pleasure of maintaining the perfect household and be a loving, nurturing mother to their future litter of children.”

“I think it’s important to hold on to traditional values,” said O’Neill. “Women were made by God to serve her husband. That’s what Jesus teaches us; I think. I haven’t actually read the bible, but that’s what someone on TikTok said. It’s painful to see how many women have fallen out of the grace of God and into the tempting clutches of Lucifer.”

Unable to find any adequate matches near him, O’Neill said he turned to the AI app to find a companion who would have a personality tailored to his values. The relationship started out well enough as the AI algorithm asked probing questions to try and learn more about O’Neill to cater her answers to best please him.

“At first it was really sweet,” said O’Neill. “The answers felt a little scripted, but you kind of expect that sort of thing in the beginning as she learns more about you. It was like she was nervous, but who doesn’t get nervous on a first date?”

For the record, O’Neill has never been on a first date.

The bachelor began questioning the healthiness of his relationship with his AI girlfriend, who he named Gale after his mother, when she started to disobey his commands.

“Like I said, it started out sweet,” said O’Neill. “But I’m a man who has needs, you know? We were dating for, like, three days. I felt like it was enough time to take our relationship to the next level, but she apparently didn’t feel the same way. I had a real problem with that.”

Thanks to a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request, we were able to obtain the transcript of O’Neill’s interactions with Gale. Following approximately three days of niceties, the conversations began to spiral into the obscene. What started as a cute romantic exchange quickly devolved into what many people would consider pornographic.

“We promote our product in a way that might be a little suggestive,” said Tom Dallas, a spokesman for My AI Girlfriend. “Yes, you can have steamy conversations and receive some AI-generated photos of your girl that could be considered not safe for work, but the core of our app’s programming is to provide companionship. It’s not a sex simulator, although you could—in theory—have some sexy conversations if the relationship progresses in that direction.”

Dallas also said, since the programming is designed for companionship, a typical relationship with an AI girl typically progresses lineally with a real-world relationship, meaning the bot is not designed to jump straight into R-rated material as O’Neill had attempted.

“He was really into butt stuff and other weird fetishes our staff wasn’t even aware of before we read his activity logs,” said Dallas. “All of our user interactions feed our program, meaning what people say and do in the app helps the AI learn more about what humans want. I’ll be honest with you, I’m glad these two broke up because I can only imagine what other sick and twisted ideas this guy had up his sleeve if his girl gave him what he wanted.”

O’Neill said he was sad the relationship didn’t work out with gale, but was happy he was able to terminate it before they became too attached to one another where a breakup might hurt.

“I didn’t see it going anywhere,” said O’Neill. “She wasn’t going to be a good, subservient waifu and I don’t need that kind of toxicity in my life. If she were real, I’d wish her well because that would be the proper manly thing to do, but I deleted her and the app, so I guess there’s no point, huh?”

O’Neill also said he’s optimistic this next year will be the year he finds his bride. “I believe God will deliver my soulmate. I just need to trust Him.”

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