Supportive girlfriend keeps asking why they call it The Final Four

CLEVELAND, Ohio. – The NCAA March Madness basketball tournament is nearing its climax with the four final collegiate teams preparing for one last showdown before the top two teams compete for the title of national champion.

This year has seen some historic moments such as Iowa Hawkeye’s guard Caitlin Clark surpassing “Pistol” Pete Maravich for most points scored in NCAA Division I basketball history, The University of Connecticut men’s team positioning itself to be the first team to repeat as champions since Florida pulled off the feat during the 2006-07 seasons, and South Carolina’s women’s team is looking to finish the season undefeated, something that hasn’t been done since the 2015-16 UConn Huskies dominated the league.

While the annual college basketball tournament is no stranger to Cinderella-like stories, this year feels different than tournaments in the past, especially for guys who’re used to watching the games alone or with a few of his guy friends. With Clark’s historic season, in conjunction with the surge in female interest in sports after it was announced Taylor Swift was in an exclusive relationship with Kansas City Chief’s tight end Travis Kelce, more and more men around the country are finding themselves explaining the nuance of sports to their newly invested girlfriends.

“I thought we had a pretty good thing going,” said George St. Claire, an Iowa Hawkeye’s alum. “I would watch the games and she got some free time to read her books. We were happy. I mean, we’re still happy but it’s different now. None of the guys want to come over to watch the games anymore because all Sarah does is ask questions about what’s going on. Stuff anyone who spent a day in middle school gym should know.”

St. Claire also said the majority of his friends walked out at the end of the last week’s Elite Eight matchup between Purdue and Tennessee when the broadcasters announced Purdue would be advancing to the Final Four and Sarah legitimately asked what the Final Four was.

“Look man, I’m cool with chicks wanting to learn more about sports and I’m down with watching the games with the ladies, but the definition of the Final Four is literally in its name,” said Danny Hughes, George’s close friend since fifth grade. “It’s the Final Four. The final four teams in the tournament. It’s not that fucking hard to understand.”

With more than 13.2 million viewers, the game between Iowa and Luisiana State University was one of the most watched sporting events in the world, racking up more viewers than 2023 NBA finals and the 2023 World Series and seeing more than a 100% increase in viewership compared to last year. With a nail-biting score of 94-87, which saw Iowa topple the Tigers in a rematch of the 2023 championship game, it appears the popularity of women’s sports is trending upward, which will inevitably have a positive impact on female participating in viewership.

Although George’s friends have found Sarah’s persistent questions to be about as tedious as what they’d expect it to feel like being waterboarded at Guantanamo Bay, she insists her newfound love of sports is deeper than her obsession with Taylor Swift or the surge in women’s sports viewership from Clark’s dominance.

“I’ve always loved sports and I’ve always loved competition, but I never felt like there was a place for me in this fandom,” said Sarah Duggan, wearing a custom Taylor Swift Kansas City Chiefs uniform. “I think there’s a movement of sorts going on right now where it’s okay for women watch sports. It’s not just for the guys anymore and that’s really exciting.”

“Also, I know what the Final Four is, I’m not stupid,” said Duggan. “I know what a touchdown is, I know the difference between a fastball and a slider is, and I know the difference between a two-point and three-point shot. These questions might make me look like a typical ditsy blond, but watching my man get excited talking about the things he loves makes me feel good. I like to see him happy and I’m happy we get to spend more time together and bond.”

St. Claire and Duggan have invited his friends and their girlfriends over to their apartment to watch the Final Four matchups. It’s uncertain whether they’ll accept it or not. Either way, they’re both looking forward to watching the games together.

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