AR-15 manufacturer thrilled to announce it’s not their fault this time

WEST PALM BEACH. Fla. – After it was announced that Donald Trump’s would-be assassin at the Trump International golf course used an AK-47 rifle, the executives at Colt, manufacturer of the popular AR-15 rifle, made a collective sigh of relief that today’s events were not their fault.

The shooter, identified by police as Ryan Wesley Routh, 58, has previous convictions of using weapons of mass destruction, according to the North Carolina Department of Corrections.

“All of us at Colt are happy to hear that no one was injured in today’s horrific incident at Trump International and we’d like to congratulate the Palm Beach police and secret service for capturing the suspect so quickly,” said Nathan Smith, spokesman for Colt. “Additionally, we would just like to emphasize that the weapon used today was not one of ours, so please direct your complaints to the Kalashnikov USA public relations office.”

Although it’s uncertain what Routh’s motivations were for today’s attacks, a series of his social media posts hint that, while he was once a Trump supporter, he lost confidence in the former president.

“@realDonaldTrump While you were my choice in 2106, I and the world hoped that president Trump would be different and better than the candidate, but we all were greatly disappointment and it seems you are getting worse and devolving,” he wrote on his now suspended Twitter account in June 2020. “I will be glad when you gone.”

At present, former President Trump appears to be in high spirits and unphased by yet another apparent attempt on his life.

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is a developing story.