Window washer cleans Kamala’s fingerprints from the glass ceiling

A local window washer has started cleaning away the fingerprints left behind on America’s political glass ceiling by Vice President Kamala Harris as she attempted to break through it Tuesday.

Harris is the latest woman to try and break through the glass ceiling in an attempt to open the path to our nation’s highest office for future generations of women.

“She must’ve been whacking on it pretty hard,” said Patrick O’Hare, the window washer. “There were a bunch of bloody streaks on the glass up there. She probably cut her hand on the cracks made by the last woman who tried to break through.”

O’Hare also said he’s not surprised she wasn’t able to break the glass because the gentlemen upstairs have made regular upgrades to the ceiling to try and prevent it from breaking.

“I’m not really sure why they don’t want women up there,” said O’Hare. “From what I can tell, every woman who’s come through here seems more than qualified to go up there. I’d even wager this last one was more qualified than the guy they let up there instead. I heard he wants to make this ceiling damn near impossible to break.”

Despite the continuous efforts to prevent women from ascending beyond the limits of the glass ceiling, many women are already eagerly lining up for their chance to take a whack at it. To make those cracks grow. To make it easier for the next woman, until someone finally shatters it beyond repair.

“It will happen,” said Harris. “It’s not a question of if, but when?”