HomeGoods launches new ‘Deny, Defend, Depose’ merch in time for Christmas

FRAMINGHAM, Mass. – HomeGoods, the bargain home furnishing store, has announced a new line of home decor for the holiday season embroidered with the slogan “Deny, Defend, Depose” that’s been trending on social media ever since UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson was murdered in the streets of Manhattan earlier this week.

According to New York City police, those three words were engraved on the bullet casings found at the crime scene, sending law enforcement and the internet abuzz with what those words mean in connection with the violent attack.

“Deny, Defend, Depose, is basically the new Live, Laugh, Love,” said HomeGoods CEO Mike Dowse. “We’re all excited about this new addition to our very popular holiday collection because we think it really symbolizes unity in a time when we’re politically, economically, and socially split more than ever before. Plus, here at HomeGoods, we’re all about giving the people what they want so our executives don’t get clapped by a disgruntled client in public.”

As part of the New York and federal law enforcement search for Thompson’s murderer, investigators are trying to understand the motive the killer had against the CEO. Internet sleuths, however, say you don’t need to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out this brain teaser of a puzzle.

“Will we know for certain what John Wick’s motive was for killing the guy until they catch him? No,” said Hank Lamphere, a self-proclaimed internet gumshoe. “But the terms Deny, Defend, Depose are reminiscent of phrasing used by insurance companies, such as UnitedHealthcare to avoid paying claims and maximizing profits, something UHC was very good at. They were so good, in fact, that they ranked number one in the percentage of claims denied out of any other health insurance company in the country.”

It’s uncertain how Thompson’s death will affect the industry world or the safety and security of the country’s wealthiest executive officers, but many organizations are not risking everything on the idea that this was an isolated incident. Case in point, Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield recently rolled back their controversial decision to cap anesthesia coverage based on how long a patient’s surgery would last, and McDonald’s U.S. President, Joe Erlinger, announced the popular discontinued snack wrap would once again be returning to restaurants.

This is a developing story, but if you want to get your hands on some Deny, Defend, Depose, merch before it’s gone, head over to homegoods.com for throw pillows, decorative prints, and wall art.