Tesla bumps Volkswagen from top spot of brands associated with fascism

AUSTIN, Texas – According to a recent study performed by the International Center for Knowledge (ICK), Tesla, the electric automobile company owned by billionaire Elon Musk, was named the number one brand associated with fascism in the world, bumping Volkswagen to number two.

The shift comes after Musk blatantly displayed a “Roman Salute” (LOL, it was a Nazi salute, let’s be serious for a second) during a speech at Donald Trump’s inauguration on January 20th. Volkswagen held the number one spot from 1939 – 2025, an 86-year record the company is happy to part with.

“We’re well aware of our past and we’d come to terms with the fact that our brand would always be associated with fascism, and we’ve worked diligently throughout the years to separate ourselves from the führer,” said Friedrich Schmidt, spokesman for Volkswagen. “However, thanks to Elon Musk’s abhorrent show of fascist behavior at President Donald Trump’s inauguration, we may now finally be able to allow our disgraceful past be a distant memory. Thank you, Mr. Musk.”

Volkswagen was established in 1937 by the German Labour Front to try and create a “people’s car” for the average German citizen. When World War II broke out in Europe in 1939, Volkswagen shifted its priority from making commercially affordable cars to military vehicles for the Nazi regime, including the Kübelwagen and amphibius Schwimmwagen. Throughout the war, Volkswagen employed the service of slave labor Arbeitsdorf concentration camp. In 1998, the company admitted it used upwards of 15,000 slaves during the war, solidifying its place at the top of this highly avoided list.

Musk denies that the gesture he made was a Nazi salute by doubling down on Nazi terminology on his Twitter page “as a joke”.

“Guys, Elon is a super genius, probably the smartest guy in the history of our planet, next to Trump, of course,” said Dave Waller, a guy who’ll happily look the other way. “There’s no way he’s a Nazi. Nazis are bad guys. Elon’s not a bad guy. Trump wouldn’t surround himself with bad guys, or Nazis, but he hangs out with Elon all the time.”

And it’s true, Trump doesn’t associate with bad people. Well, unless you count these people:

• Peter Navarro (Trump’s former trade advisor) – convicted of two criminal accounts of contempt of Congress
• George Papadopoulos (member of Trump’s foreign policy panel) – convicted of felony charges for making false statements to the FBI
• Paul Manafort (one of Trump’s political consultants) – convicted of multiple charges related to the concealment of millions of dollars he made lobbying pro-Russian politicians
• Rick Gates (Trump’s deputy chairman during his 2016 campaign) – convicted of conspiracy and lying to investigators during the probe into Russian interference in the 2016 election
• Michael Cohen (Trump’s personal lawyer and fixer) – convicted to eight counts of criminal activity, including finance violations, tax fraud, and bank fraud
• Allen Weisselberg (chief financial officer at the Trump Organization) – convicted on 15 counts of New York State tax law violations
• George Nader (an informal Trump advisor to the government of the United Arab Emirates) – convicted of possessing child pornography
• Steve Bannon (Trump’s former White House strategist) – convicted of fraud for his role in a fundraising scam to help build Trump’s wall along the U.S.-Mexican border
• Sidney Powell (one of Trump’s lawyers) – convicted on six misdemeanor charges related to the president’s attempt to overthrow the results of the 2020 election
• Kenneth Chesebro (one of Trump’s attorneys) – convicted to one felony count of conspiracy to file false documents
• Jenna Ellis (one of Trump’s attorneys) – convicted to one count of aiding and abetting false statements and writing
• Tom Barrack – charged with using his closeness to Trump to “advance the interests and provide intelligence to the UAE”
• Elliot Broidy (a top fundraiser for Trump’s 2016 campaign) – convicted of conducting a secret lobbying campaign in exchange for millions of dollars
• Michael Flynn (Trump’s National Security Advisor) – convicted of lying to the FBI about the extent of his relationship with Russian contacts and work he did in Turkey as an unauthorized lobbyist
• Roger Stone (former Trump advisor) – convicted of lying to Congress and threatening a witness
• Rudy Giuliani (Trump’s personal lawyer) – convicted for defaming election workers
• Mark Meadows (Trump’s former White House chief of staff) – charged with two felonies revolving around the president’s attempt to have the 2020 presidential election overturned
• Scott Graham Hall – charged with seven felonies related to the president’s attempt to overthrow the 2020 presidential election
• John Eastman (one of Trump’s lawyers) – charged with nine felonies, including making false statements in a court filing and helping assemble “unlawful” Trump electors
• Jeffrey Clark (acting assistant attorney general for the U.S. Justice Department’s civil division) – charged with two felonies related to the president’s attempt to overthrow the 2020 presidential election
• Ray Smith III (Trump campaign attorney) – charged with 12 felonies, including soliciting Georgia state senators to violate their oaths of office in relation to Trump’s attempt to invalidate the 2020 election
• Bob Cheeley – charged with 10 felonies, including allegedly participating in a fraudulent vote certification meeting
• Mike Roman (Trump campaign director) – charged with seven felonies related to the president’s attempt to overthrow the 2020 presidential election
• David Schafer (former Georgia GOP chair) – charged with eight felonies, including presiding over the fraudulent vote certification meeting
• Shawn Hill (fake elector) – charged with seven felonies, including “impersonating a public officer”
• Steve Lee – charged with five felonies, including going to Georgia election worker Ruby Freeman’s house “with intent to influence her testimony in an official proceeding in Fulton County”
• Harrison Floyd (leader of Black Voices for Trump) – charged with three felonies, including attempting to influence witnesses
• Trevian Kutti (publicist) – charged with three felonies, including attempting to influence Ruby Freeman’s testimony
• Cathy Latham (Coffee County GOP leader and fake elector) – charged with 11 felonies, including “felony computer trespass” and “computer invasion of privacy” for breaching Coffee County election equipment
• Misty Hampton (Coffee County elections supervisor) – charged with seven felonies, including perpetuating false claims against Dominion Voting Systems equipment

Of course, we can’t directly blame Donald Trump for the crimes of other, because he didn’t commit them himself. Then again, Trump has been charged with 88 felonies and convicted of 34 of them, making him the first sitting U.S. president to be a convicted felon.

Of course, we’re only a few days into Donald Trump’s second presidency. Will we see more felons rise to their full potential, or will we make America Great Again? Time will tell …