Rest of the world renames America, North Mexico

NEW YORK – In what seems to be a retaliatory move to President Donald Trump’s executive order to rename the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America, the United Nations has unanimously decided to rename America, North Mexico.

While the entire world celebrates the decision and eagerly awaits their maps and children’s textbooks to be updated, a small subsect of the world’s population, namely Americans, don’t appreciate the irony of the situation.

“America is the center of God’s universe, that’s why he blessed our great nation with his only son that the greedy, evil Jews killed in the name of their false, not-white god,” said Jeb Carnahan, a dairy rancher at Jeb’s Bull Farm. “If these woke, socialist, neo-libtard countries think they can rename the land of the free and home of the brave without consequence, well, they’re about to fuck around and find out.”

Meanwhile, all around the world, people are enjoying their lack of gun violence, free healthcare, and free education while watching TikToks of Americans implode because they found themselves as the butt of a joke.

“It’s really amusing to watch the Americans lose their minds when they realize the rest of the world can be just as petty as them,” said Aadi Gupta, an Indian influencer from Mumbai. “Maybe now their ego will be knocked down a peg or two. It’s unlikely, but one can dream.”

“Personally, I would’ve liked to call them South Canada, but North Mexico is the next best thing,” said Kali Tremblay, a blogger from Ontario.

Of course, not every American is sad to see the world clap back at the country’s narcissism. In fact, a large group of Americans, who’re tired of the political circus going on in Washington over the past decade were eager to weigh in with their own jabs.

“America is now a trans-nation. Whoops, didn’t mean to deadname. Welcome to the world North Mexico!” said one Twitter user. “But please make sure to use the bathroom of your nation at birth. We wouldn’t want other nations to feel uncomfortable around you … oh, wait.”

According to our sources, President Trump took a brief hiatus from signing executive orders designed to completely dismantle the protections of the middle and lower classes to write a very stern, and mostly grammatically correct, message to the world on his Truth Social account.

He wrote, OUTRAGEOUS!! America is the greatest nation on Earth. NO ONE will insult us by naming us after the home of violent drug dealers and RAPISTS. It’s unconstitutional!! We are UNDER ATTACK and there will be consequences. I will impose 100% tariffs on these pathetic nations that DISHONOR us. And I will take further action if they don’t BEND THE KNEE.

While the majority of MAGA followers have rallied behind the president’s rally cry, falling in line to decry the rest of the world for making fun of them like, I dunno, some sort of fragile snowflake, elsewhere everyone else has just shrugged off his threats as the ramblings of a delusional old man.