Local conspiracy theorist believes chemtrails are just ‘water vapor’

MARSHALLTOWN, Iowa – A local man went on a tangent during a recent town hall meeting about how chemtrails—those cloud-looking streaks in the sky created by government-controlled airplanes trying to manipulate the weather—are nothing more than water vapor.

After Councilwoman Greta Von Schnitzelstein raised concerns that recent increased air traffic would result in unsafe levels of weather manipulating chemicals to rain down over the town, Devin Hendricks, 45, had the audacity to politely raise his hand and wait to be called upon, only to “use science” to spread misinformation about the chemtrails.

“Anyone with half a brain knows those planes are dumping secret government chemicals in the sky,” said Thomas Brown, a self-proclaimed meteorologist. “If you watch any plane that isn’t controlled by the government, you know, the ones that don’t fly so dang high in the sky, they don’t let off any gas. And don’t tell me they’re clouds; planes can’t create clouds. So, the fact the city’s committee gave this loony toon a soapbox to preach his conspiracy theories on for a good 30 to 45 seconds is sheer madness.”

After called upon to address the committee, Hendricks’ calmly went to the microphone and, in a mild manner, expressed his concern that the city’s elected officials were misinformed about the source of the white streaks people may see left in the wake of a traveling aircraft. He insisted it wasn’t chemicals being used to cloud seed the atmosphere, but simply water vapor. He even cited an article from the University Corporation for Atmospheric Research, which implied “contrails” occur when water vapor condenses and then freezes around the exhaust of an aircraft.

The use of science sent the room into a frenzy.

“We don’t use any of that blasphemous language in these hallowed halls of city hall,” said Councilman John Johnson. “Science is a tool of the fool who can’t trust what he sees with his own eyes. And let me tell you, I have 20-20 vision.”

Hendricks was escorted out of the meeting and sent a sternly written letter by the council that he was not allowed to step foot inside town hall ever again and “thanks to his brazen attempt to disrupt the discourse of city affairs”, council meetings would no longer be open to the public.

The disturbance made the town newsletter, which he shared to Reddit, supposedly as a joke. It gained international attention and now NATO, the UN, the G20, and other international cooperatives are convening to discuss the repercussions of misinformation regarding climate change and weather manipulation.

“Getting banned from my town hall for questioning my councilwoman’s basic understanding of environmental science just felt like a funny and bizarre situation that I thought others would find amusing,” said Hendricks. “I never thought it would result in an international incident. Now, it all just feels like a fever dream. What the hell is going on in the world?”

As it turns out, there’s a lot going on in the world. A lot of things that the world’s governments don’t want you thinking about.

“We were really concerned that the truth about the world’s weather was leaked when people started talking about the government using Jewish Space Lasers to create unimaginable hurricanes capable of wiping entire states off the map,” said a source at the CIA, who spoke to Alpine 6 Action News on the condition of anonymity. “If it ever leaked to the public that these horrific changes in weather were caused by manmade climate change, people would absolutely lose their shit and want the government to do something about it. Do you know how hard it is for the government to do something about a real problem? It’s fucking impossible. I’m glad we dodge the bullet on this one.”

In the aftermath of Hendricks’ viral post, many people who claim to be scientists have reached out to offer their support. We tried to make contact with these so-called scientists for comment, but in a strange coincidence, every single one of them accidently fell out of a third-floor window, killing them instantly.

As for what he’ll do next, Hendricks says he doesn’t really care whether people believe him or not. He only tried to use the opportunity presented to him to try and educate people on his beliefs. He intends to forget about everything that happened, accept the government’s payout, and move on with his life as if nothing happened.