Pete Hegseth deported over alleged “MS-13” tattoos

WASHINGTON – After yet another violation of operational security, or OPSEC, from the Pentagon chief, it’s been reported that Pete Hegseth has been deported from the United States to an El Salvador super prison because of tattoos that allegedly identify him as a member of the notorious gang, MS-13.

On Tuesday, it was reported that Hegseth had once again shared classified war plans in another Signal group chat with people who don’t have the security clearance or need-to-know to receive this information.

The Trump administration had stood up for Hegseth in the direct aftermath of the situation but quickly denied any knowledge of the former Fox News host after a late-night ICE raid detained Hegseth at his Washington D.C. home.

“Pete who,” asked White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt. “President Trump has yet to pick a Secretary of Defense in his second term but will be doing so in the very near future. If you’re talking about the illegal immigrant that ICE deported last night, he is a known member of MS-13, a very dangerous criminal, and has never been affiliated with the Donald Trump White House. Also, let’s not forget that America is safer now that he’s off our streets. You should be thanking President Trump for how fast he’s working to clean up our country’s streets from these vile villains.”

Hegseth’s abrupt ousting at the Pentagon has many Americans on both sides of the political aisle cheering because he was undeniably the most unqualified SecDef in the history of our country. However, the administration’s attempt to erase him from the collective memory of the American people is raising some eyebrows.

“Look, I really wish everything going on right now in this country was just part of some massive fever dream,” said Tom Young, an investment banker from New York. “But trying to erase people from the history books without any kind due process and refusing to accept your mistakes is some serious authoritarian shit. We can all see that, right?”

Apparently, no.

“You come here illegally, you don’t get due process,” said Chad Franklin, a proud MAGA cult member. “Due process is reserved for Americans. Real Americans. That Pete guy, whoever he is, got what he deserved.”

No matter what you think of Pete Hegseth, he is a real American. He was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota to American parents. Parents, who’ve pleaded with the Trump administration to bring their son home.

“Once someone is out of the country, they’re out of our jurisdiction; there’s really nothing the President can do,” said Leavitt, knowing full well the administration can do something about bringing wrongfully deported people home. “The best we can do is warn other dangerous gang members to leave on their own before we get them. They won’t like the consequences of coming here illegally.”

In February, the Trump administration facilitated the return of Marc Fogel, a U.S. citizen who was wrongfully detained in a Russian prison. Also in February, they brought home an American citizen being held hostage in Belarus. And according to Special Envoy for Hostage Affairs Adam Boehler, President Trump “has made bringing Americans home a top priority and people respond to that.”

The Trump administration’s “unrelenting and tireless dedication to bringing people home” apparently ends when it comes to people it wrongfully imprisons in a foreign prison, however.

In addition to Hegseth, a Maryland man named Kilmar Abrego Garcia was also wrongfully deported to El Salvador as part of the Trump’s widespread attempt to deport undocumented migrants. Garcia was granted protection from deportation and legal status from a Trump-appointed judge because of threats against his life from gangs in El Salvador. While the Trump administration initially admitted they’d wrongfully deported him, they’ve since doubled down on rhetoric claiming he was a member of MS-13, despite having no criminal record in the U.S. or El Salvador.

Garcia’s friends and family are pleading for the president to get him back before it’s too late. However, El Salvador’s President, Nayib Bukele told the press during a White House visit that he would not send Garcia back to the United States, which Trump seemed okay with. This blatant disregard for the rule of law has led many politicians and historians to claim we’re no longer heading toward a Constitutional crisis, we’re in one.

“The sitting president of the United States is actively disobeying a direct order from a federal judge,” said Tammy Felder, a Constitutional lawyer. “He is trying to test how far he can stretch his power. This is a very dangerous time for the United States because as President Trump tries to whittle away at the checks and balances of our nation, he’s edging closer and closer to the authoritarian and fascist regime he’s dreamed about.”

Felder also said it’s not too late for the country to climb out from this slippery slope, but actions need to be taken now—especially by Republican lawmakers who own the majority of the Congress but are too afraid of the President’s retaliatory threats to do anything about quest for dictatorship.

“If the Republicans in Congress would just grow a spine and actually do their job to uphold the Constitution, this crisis could be averted today,” said Felder. “But they’d rather save face with this wannabe dictator than save the country. For a party that keeps saying ‘America first’ and hangs giant American flags from their big ol’ pickup trucks, they sure as shit don’t love the U.S. enough to protect it.”

As the president and his staff continue to try and sweep Pete Hegseth, Kilmar Abrego Garcia, and everyone else illegally deported that we haven’t learned about yet under the rug, the White House has released its short list of candidates for to fill the vacant secretary of defense position. That list includes familiar names like Kid Rock, Joe Rogan, and fellow Fox News host Sean Hannity.