Sleepy Joe Biden falls asleep in hotel room after Pope’s funeral

VATICAN CITY – Right-wing pundits are criticising the legacy media for unfairly targeting President Donald Trump for allegedly falling asleep during Pope Francis’ funeral last week, saying the “lame stream media” is failing to address the fact former-President Joe Biden also sleeps.

This latest call to arms against the news media has Conservatives and MAGA panties in a bunch as they plead for Trump to shut down these “fake news” outlets that report facts rather than Republican propaganda talking points

“Once again, the woke left-wing media is unjustly attacking the president with these observable and credible facts,” said Dan Gulliver, co-host of the Chtistian conservative podcast, Judas Had a Point. “Just because something is true, doesn’t mean it’s a fact. That’s something the Dems will never understand. And talking about facts, isn’t it oddly convenient the woke mob is failing to address the fact that Sleepy Joe Biden also sleeps? Talk about your double standard.”

According to a Biden spokesperson, it’s true that the former president fell asleep that day, but it wasn’t until several hours after the funeral, at the Embassy Suites hotel he and Dr. Jill Biden were staying at during their visit.

“President Biden was suffering from jet lag,” said Frank Pierce, Joe Biden’s assistant. “A couple hours after the funeral, he and Dr. Biden returned to their hotel and took a nap before spending the evening at various social events they’d been invited to.”

Initially, the Trump administration rejected any reports the president fell asleep during the late pontiff’s buriel ceremony.

“What we’re seeing here is the left-wing media, many of whom are in this briefing room, slander the president once again by using ill-timed photography to make it look like President Trump was asleep,” said White House Press Secretary. “It’s truly disgusting behavior and you should be ashamed.”

Five minutes later, the administration acknowledged that the president did, in fact, fall asleep.

“I know it’s hard for you to believe, because the president has done so many incredible things during his first 100 days back in office, but the president is human and occassionally that means he’ll be tired,” said Leavitt. “It’s really bizarre to me that you guys will attack the president about literally anything, including natural things we all do every single day.”

Five minutes later, during the same press briefing, Leavitt attempted to gaslight us once again by denying all the reports, including her own statements she made moments prior.

“I’m really not sure why you guys are so hung up on this ‘snoozegate’,” said Leavitt. “I’ve said it before and I guess I’ll have to say it again, President Trump did not fall asleep at the Pope’s funeral. It’s all lies. It’s fake news.”

But it wasn’t just Trump’s cat nap that has the media in a tizzy. The president also wore a blue suit, in apparent definance of the funeral’s dress code which called for black attire.

“Yes, the president wore a blue suit,” said Leavitt. “It may not have been black, as requested, but at least he wore a suit, unlike President Zelensky who, once again, showed he has zero class and is a disgrace to his country. If he knew what was best for him and his people, he would accept President Trump’s peace deal and give Ukraine to Russia, where it belongs.”

While the White House scrambles to recover from the truth, many left-wing content creators were quick to criticize the right’s anger over their obsession with Trump’s suit at the funeral, likening it to when Fox News, had a meltdown over former President Barack Obama wore a tan suit.

“The hypocracy from the right is mind boggling,” said Ryan Smith, host of the political podcast, Elephant and Ass. “They lose their goddamn mind over Obama wearing a tan suit on a normal Tuesday, but can’t stomach the idea that their king and lord savior would be criticized for blatently ignoring the dress code at an event where he’s representing our country on the world stage.”

Meanwhile, as the country rips itself apart over matters both grave and trivial, former President Joe Biden has slipped out of his suit, into a comfortable pair of PJs, and nestled into bed for a long night’s sleep.