The Counting Crows announce they’re finally done counting crows

SAN FRANCISCO, Cal. – The Counting Crows, the 90’s rock band best known for their smash single, Baby I’m a Star Now, announced on their Facebook page that they’re finally done counting crows after more than three decades.

The San Francisco Bay area band began making music in 1991 as a means to finance their avian calculation endeavor.

“We are pleased to announce that finally, after 34 years, we have finally completed our mission of counting the world’s crows,” said the announcement. “It wasn’t an easy task, but we’re so incredibly thankful to all our family, friends, and fans who’ve supported us in our life’s work.”

The announcement shook the music world as most people, even the band’s biggest fans, didn’t think the band’s name was quite so literal.

“I was under the impression that the band got their name from the old British nursery rhyme, One for Sorrow, which is about the superstitious practice of counting crows,” said Danny McDonald, a life-long Crows fan. “I didn’t actually think these dudes were actually counting crows. Who does that? That’s fucking weird.”

Weird as it may be, Adam Duritz, the band’s frontman, confirmed to Alpine 6 Action News that the Grammy and Academy Award nominated band really is just a financial support system for their ornithology hobby.

“It’s actually a funny story,” said Duritz. “We were all just vibing in my garage one day when David [Bryson] saw a crow land on the front yard. He said, ‘oh look, a crow’, and then we all just started talking about crows. One thing led to another, and we made a blood pact that one day we would travel the world and document how many crows are alive in the world.”

Duritz also said the group almost gave up on their dream because they weren’t sure how they’d finance such an ambitious project, but then he saw his father’s guitar sitting in the corner of the garage and suggested they form a band to cover the costs.

“Admittedly, it was a bit of a farfetched idea because none of us knew how to play any instruments,” said Duritz. “But one of the things I love about these guys is that once we put our mind to something, we don’t stop until it’s done. So, we all picked up an instrument, learned how to play it, hustled really hard, and became world famous musicians.”

The band immediately gained popularity after their debut album, August and Everything After, was released. Their breakthrough song, Mr. Jones—which was the name David Bryson gave the crow he saw on Duritz front lawn—helped the album sell 7 million copies in the United States.

“At first, our intention was to take the money we earned from record sales and travel the world to document the birds,” said Dan Vickrey, the band’s lead guitarist. “What we didn’t realize at the time was that the record label would actually pay for us to travel the world. All we had to do was show up and play our music, then we could spend our free time in nature, hunting down these beautiful elusive birds.”

After several years of writing music and recording records, the Counting Crows finally set out on their crow counting adventure in July 1997 on a tour in which they co-headlined with the Wallflowers. They were on the road for nine months, taking them all around the country. But as it turns out, trying to find the time to count crows, while also headlining shows in huge arenas, was no simple task.

“We spent a lot of time before we went out on tour learning more about the behaviors and habitats of crows,” said Duritz. “As it turns out, they live just about everywhere. Counting the crows in the country was easy because it was just you and Mother Earth out there. In the city, however, I think we spent more time trying to dodge obsessed fans and paparazzi than counting crows. That was tough.”

It was so tough, in fact, that it almost tore the band apart.

“It was really hard at first,” said Bryson. “The whole point of making music, for us, was to count crows. What we didn’t anticipate was how much fame was going to get in the way of that. Every city we went to there were women flashing us boobies—and not the birdy kind—and dudes were always trying to take pictures with us. At one point I looked at the guys and said, ‘what are we doing here?’ That was the moment we all started wondering if it was worth it.”

Bryson also said there was a palpable tension between the band members, but it was Duritz who reminded them of the blood pact they made nearly a decade previously.

“Adam pulled out his hand and showed us the scar on his palm that had from cutting himself to make the pact,” said Bryson. “He said it was still tender because he cut it too deep. He cut it too deep because he was serious about the oath he took to count crows with us. It was a somber reminder that it doesn’t matter how hard things get, if you have your friends by your side, you can do anything.”

From that moment forward, the group promised to never allow boobies and fame get in the way of their success.

“Honestly, I felt revitalized,” said Vickrey. “I think we were all feeling a bit run down. I think within all the chaos of touring and avoiding the magnitude of perky tits being shoved in our faces around almost every corner, we lost sight of how blessed we really were. Taking that step back, having that honest conversation, really helped us refocus.”

Of course, even without the distractions in their way, taking an accurate census of the world’s crow population was no easy task. Not only are crows native to almost every environment in the world, but the band also needed to overcome population changes, migrations, and overlapping populations.

“After counting crows in the first dozen tour stops, or whatever, we started to realize that we had no good way of knowing whether or not any crow we came across had already been accounted for,” said Duritz. “So, we kind of developed a call-and-response technique using distinct cawing sounds that we would teach each crow we came across. This was undoubtedly the easiest way to make sure we didn’t count a crow more than once.”

Of course, ever since the band announced they’ve finished counting the world’s crows, it’s left many people wondering, how many crows are there in the world, exactly. A quick Google search will tell you there’s about 29 million, but Duritz says that number isn’t accurate. But, if you’re looking for a quick and easy answer, you’re also out of luck. According to the band’s announcement, the answer to this question is actually hidden among the lyrics of their newest studio album, Butter Miracle, The Complete Sweets, which released May 9th.