While many Americans prepare to wrap themselves in Old Glory and dive into coolers full of patriotic light beer, not everyone is feeling red, white, and thrilled this Fourth of July.

From the West Coast to the Rust Belt, a growing number of Americans report an inability to feel festive amid ongoing political, social, and humanitarian concerns. Some blame the fireworks of a different sort—like recent missile strikes against Iranian infrastructure approved by President Trump “to remind the world who’s boss.” Others point to the nation’s unwavering financial and diplomatic support for Israel, even as international bodies condemn the rising civilian death toll in Gaza.

There’s also the lingering taste of tear gas from protests past, the still-smoking wreckage of civil rights once protected by the Supreme Court, and the small matter of corporations swallowing democracy whole while selling discount patio furniture in its name.

“It’s hard to celebrate freedom when it feels more like a subscription service you can’t afford,” said 33-year-old Natalie Quinn of St. Paul, Minnesota, whose Independence Day plans include drinking room-temperature LaCroix while deleting unread political newsletters.

But despair doesn’t mean one has to sit out entirely. For those feeling more A-meh-rica than ’Murica, Alpine 6 Action News has compiled a list of holiday tips for the disillusioned, discontented, and quietly defiant.

Tips for Celebrating the Fourth of July When You’re Feeling Less Than Patriotic

1. Grey Fireworks
Skip the bombastic red, white, and blue displays. Instead, set off a single, legally ambiguous smoke bomb in slate gray. It’s the color of moral ambiguity, judicial rulings, and your mood.

2. Condiment-Free Cookout
Serve hot dogs and hamburgers with zero toppings. No ketchup, no mustard, no joy. Let the dry meat speak for itself, just like Congress does.

3. Passive-Aggressive Flag Display
Hang your American flag upside down, inside-out, or just slightly crooked. If anyone asks, say it’s a metaphor and walk away.

4. Watch “Born on the Fourth of July” but Turn It Off Before the Credits
Make it a double feature with Wag the Dog or They Live. Bonus points if you refuse to explain any of your choices to your guests.

5. Perform Your Own Public Reading of the Constitution
Specifically, the parts we don’t seem to follow anymore. Invite neighbors, then hand them subpoenas to appear at your backyard tribunal.

6. Instead of Firecrackers, Just Scream into a Jar
Set a timer, open your emotional reserves, and let out a primal scream. Seal the jar. Label it “2025.”

7. Replace Patriotic Songs with Corporate Anthems
Blast the McDonald’s “I’m Lovin’ It” jingle on loop. If we’re already living in late-stage capitalism, might as well lean in.

8. Give Out Sparklers, but Only to Dogs
Don’t light them. Just hand them to confused dogs and let nature take its course. At least someone’s enjoying themselves.

9. Stage a One-Person Protest at the BBQ
Refuse to participate in potato salad. Stand solemnly by the grill with a “Do We Even Know What Freedom Means?” sign printed in Comic Sans.

10. Declare Independence from Social Media for 24 Hours
Make a big, dramatic post about it, then immediately log off. This is your Boston Tea Party, and Instagram is the harbor.

While MAGA devotees may be headed for their annual ER visit due to sparkler jousting and Roman candle duels, those on the disenchanted side of the spectrum can still find meaningful ways to mark the day—quietly, sarcastically, and just bitter enough to keep going.

“Being less than patriotic doesn’t mean I hate this country,” Quinn added, sipping from a mason jar labeled “Systemic Rot.” “It just means I’m honest about it.”

And in today’s America, that might be the most rebellious act of all.

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