OPINION: What I learned about leadership from Bonnie Blue

A drunk guy at a bar in Boston once said to me, “leadership is a skill that can never be perfected, but the greatest leaders never stop trying.”

I love that quote but has nothing to do with this article.

Earlier this year, 24-year-old British adult film star Tia Billinger, known professionally as Bonnie Blue, set a record by sleeping with more than 1,000 men in 24-hours. As guy number 998 in that slip and slide of ejaculate and spermicide, I wanted to share a few valuable lessons about leadership from that experience.

Prepare to be fucked

As an adult mattress actress, you expect to get girthy man meat shoved in all your orifices. However, as a professional who generally keeps their clothes on during the workday, this proverbial penetration may come more as a non-consenting backdoor surprise.

You will be fucked from the top—by managers and officers who prey on your talents to pass off your successes as their own. You will be fucked from the bottom—by subordinates who just don’t give a shit about what happens to the company and are willing to take down everyone along with them. You will get fucked from the side—by peers who only care about their own success and are willing to fuck over anyone who they deem as competition.

So, what do you do to prepare for this unrelenting and constant un-lubed barrage on your butthole?

Learn to fuck back harder, stronger, faster

Do you think Ms. Blue could’ve taken 1,000 dicks in a day just by laying there and taking it? No way! She needed to take command of this situation, squeeze those vagina muscles, and get the guy off her before he finished convulsing so the next dude could get his 86 seconds of sloppy seconds, or thirds, or fourths …

Master time management

Of course, not all men are built the same. Some dudes have the endurance to last more than 86 seconds. Some (which is totally normal) do not. In order to maintain pace and meet deadline, it was imperative that Bonnie mastered the skill of time management, something all aspiring business leaders must do.

Don’t get attached, it’s just business

Premature ejaculation can be an emotional situation for some men. No one wants to do it, and when it happens (especially in front of a professional sex worker), it can leave a man feeling emasculated and want to snuggle so he can cry on his partner’s shoulder. This show of vulnerability can create an awkward workplace environment as many people might feel compelled to comfort their coworker. But Bonnie displayed tremendous focus, keeping her attention on the long line of dick waiting for her, knowing there’s no time to get attached to other people’s drama while on deadline.

The biggest messes can always be cleaned up

As a leader, we’re often handed giant messes that we’re tasked with cleaning up, and there’s probably no greater mess than the semen of 1,000 men dripping down your legs. And while Bonnie probably wasn’t the one who had to clean up the throngs of used condoms scattered around her breeding ground, her experience is a valuable lesson that no matter how big of a mess you’re handed, a good leader will find a way to get it cleaned up.

In conclusion, the spectacle of Bonnie Blue and her hunt for the world record of most pork swords shoved in her baby maker over the span of a day may seem like nothing more than tabloid news and clickbait. But hidden behind the vail of man milk is a powerful message about how one person’s leadership and willingness to bend over for the man (or many men) can help you become a more well-rounded leader who can not only succeed but thrive in the business world.