New dating app connects wandering coworkers, finds venues without kiss cams

BOSTON – Indiscretion, LLC, the tech company behind popular NSFW AI dating game apps like My Big Boobie Girlfriend, has announced it’s launching a new IRL (or in real life) dating app for people to meet real, not AI language learning model people for a chance to find true love.

The new app, called CLDPLY, was designed to match coworkers who’re open to adulterous relationships to connect for a single night of fun or a longtern side piece relationship. Additionally, the app will also help find these couples romantic date venues that don’t employ kiss cams or other technology capable of exposing their fiery affair.

“We believe that love is one the most beautiful things in the world,” said Indiscretion’s CEO Greg Platonic, who personally uses the app to sleep with his 18-year-old personal assistant intern. “It’s just a shame that love—true love—is often stymied by things like marriage contracts and the law.”

Platonic also said the app will give users the opportunity to create AI girlfriends and boyfriends to have an affair with in the event they don’t match with anyone. “It’s a great option for people who’re self-employed or are just losers.”

The inspiration for the app comes from the recent internet scandal where the CEO of Astonomer, a company no one had heard of until this happened, was allegedly caught cheating with his director of human resources on the kiss cam at a Coldplay concert.

The event has caused a whirlwind online with a tsunami of memes and satirical news stories, like this one.

“You know, if they’d just played it cool when they popped up on the jumbotron, none of this would’ve happened,” said Dr. Philmore Pipe, a relationship scientist and author of the book, How to play it off: a guide to surviving being caught in an affair. “Seeing this ‘relationshipwreck’, as I like to call it, was a wakeup call for many unfaithful partners. It’s a sad day when you can’t bring your mistress to a Coldplay concert without the risk of being caught. That’s why I believe CLDPLY is such a good idea. It’s going to save countless marriages.”

CLDPLY is currently available on the App Store and Google Play store for free, however, for $49.99 a month, premium users will also have access to an alibi service in the event their affair is discovered and a free T-shirt.