Bare asses, bad breath, and Bad Bunny; Happy Gilmore 2 brought me to my happy place

There is an unwritten rule in cinema reviews that the quality of sequels dramatically plummets as the amount of time increases between movies. Take the newest Matrix movie as an example, The Matrix: piece of shit, or whatever it was called. That movie didn’t need to exist. It shouldn’t exist. And yet, movie studios needed to make a buck so, rather than investing in new IPs they can build upon, they took a successful franchise that was already wrapped up with a nice little bow and took a giant, steaming pile of shit all over it.

I digress.

Happy Gilmore 2 broke that unwritten rule and gave us a movie that not only gave audiences a new comedy featuring one of Adam Sandler’s most beloved characters, it also provided a comfortable balance between nostalgic callbacks to gags we loved in the first movie, hilarious cameos from some of Hollywood and Golf’s biggest stars, and new content to make this movie feel like a legitimate sequel and not just a hungry cash grab by studio executives.

This movie takes place 30 years after the original. Happy and Virginia are married, have five children, and the picture-perfect life you’d expect from a couple who ended their first movie romantically saving the day from a self-righteous douchebag. However, after an unfortunate turn of events and a surprising main character death, Happy isn’t so happy anymore. He falls into a depression, quits golf, and leans into alcoholism, turning him into the quintessential sad protagonist who’ll comedically turn his life around and learn a valuable lesson or two over the next few acts.

The turning point in Happy’s journey to rock bottom comes when his daughter’s ballet teacher recommends she join the Paris Opera Ballet School, a totally reasonable goal for a down-on-their-luck former professional golfer who’s making ends meet by working at the local grocery store.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a very good movie if Happy just laughed at the $75,000 a year tuition bill, chugged a fifth of whiskey from one of his many stashes around the house, and rolled the credits. Happy finds the motivation he needs to get back up on the proverbial horse and rejoin the PGA tour from none other than PGA legend John Daly, who just so happens to be living in Happy’s garage because, well, deux ex machina.

Happy Gilmore 2 could probably have settled with Sandler’s titular character overcoming the personal struggles of self-doubt, alcoholism, and loss to rise from the ashes and become a golfing great again, similar to Tiger Woods overcoming sex scandals, or whatever. But this is a Happy-Madison film, not a gritty David Fincher drama, so of course there was an over-the-top antagonist he’d need to defeat to regain his status.

That antagonist came in the form of Frank Manatee (Benny Safdie) and Maxi Golf, his new XFL-inspired golf league with players named Screech, Flex, and 8 Ball, all of whom had surgery to increase their range of motion so they can whack golf balls further than anyone else. This new league is a threat to the PGA, so the league enlists Happy and other golfers like Rory McIlroy, Scottie Scheffler, and Jordan Spieth to defeat the Maxi golfers and win back Grandma’s house (again).

After a few emotional ups and downs and a couple trips to his happy place, Happy finally learns to move on from the grief that’s been holding him back and lean into his life and his family for support. This spark, in conjunction with his newfound partnership with former rival Shooter McGavin, drives Happy to victory over the new league, saving golf from extremism, or something.

The movie is ripe with cameos. In addition to the aforementioned golfers, the movie also enlists Taylor Swift’s boyfriend Travis Kelce, Eminem, Guy Fieri, and many, many others for brief yet funny moments that left me chuckling more than they probably should’ve.

One of the greatest bits in this entire movie were the subtle nods and easter eggs sprinkled throughout the movie to pay homage to the actors from the 1996 movie and Sandler’s other filmography who’re no longer with us. In one scene, you get a brief glimpse of Cameron Boyce, Sandler’s co-star in Grown Ups who tragically passed away in 2009 at the age of 20, on a television screen. There’s also an entire scene in a graveyard where Happy and Shooter McGavin spar like a pair of old men. In the graveyard you can see markers dedicated to Bob Barker, Chubbs (Carl Weathers), Grandma (Frances Bay), Mr. Larson (Richard Kiel) and Donald “Jackass” Floyd (Joe Flaherty). The movie also includes flashbacks to scenes with these characters in the original film, adding a nice touch of nostalgia.

Overall, this movie is exactly what you’d hope it would be. Is it a groundbreaking piece of filmmaking? No, it’s Happy fucking Gilmore. But if you’re looking for a good laugh or a nostalgic walk back to the mid 90s, this is a movie you need to watch.

But they better not fucking make a Happy Gilmore 3 because that will probably be a steaming piece of shit, like Shooter liked to eat for breakfast.

Happy Gilmore 2 is available to watch on Neflix.