Americans shrug at the idea of Trump never leaving, “I don’t even know what’s real anymore”

The 22nd Amendment says it plainly: no person shall be elected president more than twice. But what if Donald Trump decides to test America’s faith in both punctuation and precedent? What if he just … stays?

For some, the very thought conjures visions of riots in the streets, citizens locking arms in defense of democracy, and a second Civil War fought entirely with leaf blowers and AR-15s. But the more likely reality is less cinematic.

“Most people will just look up from their phones and ask, ‘Wait, is he still there? I thought we were getting somebody new,’” said political analyst Julia Townborne. “Then they’ll shrug, order DoorDash, and scroll on.”

Trump’s diehards already treat term limits like hotel checkout times: flexible suggestions meant for other people.

“The Constitution is a bunch of bullshit rules made by powdered wig wearing slave owners,” said Lester Hogtyr, an unemployed Arkansas resident. “Except the Second Amendment. That part was carved onto stone tablets at Mount Rushmore by Jesus and John Wayne.”

Vice President J.D. Vance, meanwhile, has been preparing for this contingency in his own unique style. Spotted in a loosely tied silk robe pacing the East Wing, Vance told reporters, “Daddy promised I can be president when he’s done. He pinky-swore.”

Could Trump really pull it off? There are at least four options:

1. Repeal the 22nd Amendment — a heavy lift that would require two-thirds of Congress and three-fourths of the states. But as Tennessee Rep. Andy Ogles recently noted, “If we can ban abortion in half the country, why not term limits?”

2. Exploit the Vice President Loophole — the so-called “Putin-Medvedev shuffle.” Trump could run as someone’s VP (say, Vance), win, and then accept Vance’s resignation on Day 1. The campaign slogan practically writes itself: “Vote Vance to Make Trump President Again.”

3. Run Anyway — and dare the Supreme Court to stop him. Legal experts say the 22nd Amendment is “clear and unambiguous,” but those same experts also thought the insurrection clause of the 14th was enforceable. As Tad Crater put it: “This Court would rule Trump can be president three times, four times, or until the heat death of the universe, provided Clarence Thomas gets a free motorhome hookup at Mar-a-Lago.”

4. Refuse to Leave — the simplest and most Trumpian option. Just stay put, claim the election was rigged (which he is, as of now, ineligible to run in), and dare anyone to drag him out of the Oval Office. After all, the furniture is already bolted down from the last time.

Across the globe, when leaders consolidate power through personality cults, they tend not to surrender it willingly. Recep Tayyip Erdogan didn’t. Vladimir Putin didn’t. Daniel Ortega didn’t. And Trump has already floated the idea for years, once telling supporters, “We’ll do four more years, and then another four after that.”

Still, many Americans seem oddly prepared to accept it. “We’ll probably just make a TikTok about it and move on,” said 19-year-old influencer Tiffani Cloud, who has 3.4 million followers for her daily videos lip-syncing Supreme Court decisions.

Tad Crater, usually the loudest voice warning of apocalypse, put it more darkly. “Freedom doesn’t usually collapse with tanks in the streets. It collapses with a confused shrug. If Trump stays, it’ll be less ‘Handmaid’s Tale’ and more ‘Groundhog Day,’ with the same guy swearing the same oath over and over until we forget it was ever different.”

So what if he stays? America may not erupt in revolution. It may just roll over, hit snooze, and wake up in 2033 wondering when the third term became the forever term.