Newsroom

The Boss

He’s the guy in charge. No one actually knows anything about him or what he does, but the paychecks hit the checking accounts on time, so no one has asked any questions.

Bartholomew Alexander Von Fredericks III

Bartholomew Alexander Von Fredericks III is Alpine 6 Action News’ chief military and foreign affairs editor. His resume includes multiple overseas assignments to some of the most dangerous warzones such as Iraq, Afghanistan, Atropia, and Chicago.

He is a journalist who isn’t afraid to go to extreme lengths to cover a story and uncover the truth. His favorite story to tell at a cocktail party is about the time he traded his iPhone 4 to a group of dangerous militants to escort him across the country in time to attend a U.S. military press conference. He then found his phone months later on an unrecognizable dead body after the militant’s compound was obliterated by U.S. artillery and drone strikes.

Alexis Bedfellow

As a women who has minimal traces of Latina heritage, Alexis Bedfellow was brought on for the simple purpose of diversifying Alpine 6 Action News’ newsroom. However, as the only journalist on staff with an education in journalism, she quickly rose the ranks and gave credibility to the organization.

She has a lengthy resume with experience working in the crime-ridden streets of Grimwick, the fictional city of Tim Koster’s time travel novel, The Probability of Time.

She currently serves as Alpine 6 Action News’ chief political and entertainment (because they’re basically the same thing, right?) editor.

Crag Donovan

Crag Donovan is Alpine 6 Action News’ resident conspiracy theorist and chief science & technology reporter. He’s applied for multiple Pulitzer Prize and local Emmy awards but has fallen short in the voting thanks to what he says is “an inside job aimed at thwarting the truth from being revealed.”

He has an extensive resume at several prestigious news outlets, which we can’t name due to the non-disclosure agreements he signed at his terminations.

Dick Hardy

Dick Hardy is Alpine 6 Action News’ chief relationship and lifestyle editor and writes the occasional movie review. Prior to joining the finest satire news agency in the world, he was the assistant to the legendary Dr. Ruth Westheimer and moonlit for Saturday Night Live writer Jack Handey.

Frutti Del Mar

Frutti Del Mar is a larger-than-life drag queen who brings the sparkle of the sea and the sweetness of summer fruit to every stage she graces. With a style that mixes camp, glamour, and just the right amount of mischief, Frutti is known for turning every performance into a tidal wave of joy, laughter, and unapologetic self-expression.

Offstage, Frutti channels her wit and flair for storytelling into writing articles on all things that explore queer culture, pop culture, and life’s fabulous dramas with the same playful honesty she brings to her performances.

Brad, the unpaid intern

Brad is Alpine 6 Action News’ intern. He’s 38 years old and manages our social media accounts and makes an acceptable cup of coffee. He occasionally writes stories when the rest of the team doesn’t feel like working, but if you think they’re lacking in quality it’s because we trained him wrong on purpose because we thought it would be funny. You’re welcome.