SAN ANTONIO, Texas – Today’s solar eclipse was one of the most anticipated celestial events of the year, bringing astronomy enthusiasts and conspiracy theorists from around the world to the many towns and cities along the path of the eclipse in hopes of seeing an alien mothership and finally answering the age-old question: are we alone in the universe.

Unfortunately, during the moment of totality, the alien mothership lurking in the shadows of our closest solar neighbor saw its shadow and refused to show itself to the millions of humans eagerly awaiting it on the ground below, resulting in 12 more months of being alone among stars.

“I was really hoping today would be the day we’d finally learn if life exists elsewhere in the galaxy or if mankind is just some sort of cosmological mistake,” said Dr. Randy Parnell, a professor of astrophysics at Stonewall Community College. “Plus, I think I can speak for all the sci-fi nerds out there when I say we’re all wondering if we’re dealing with Xev Bellringer aliens or Xenomorph aliens.”

With today’s unfortunate result, Parnell and the other sky gazers will have to wait a year until the next total solar eclipse which astronomers predict will occur between March 13-14, 2025 in many parts of Europe and Asia.

Although solar eclipse’s are relatively common events, typically occurring between 12-18 months, many alien enthusiasts are concerned that if Hollywood is right about extraterrestrials, the mothership may only reveal itself during the next eclipse happening over a major U.S. city, which isn’t supposed to happen until August 12, 2045.

“My colleagues and I are already crowdsourcing the funds to travel to the U.K. to be on the ground during next year’s eclipse,” said Parnell. “We’ve also asked the world’s governments to invest in media over the next year that encourages alien interventions in the cities along the next path of totality. Anything we can do to help influence the alien’s decisions on where to reveal themselves will be worthwhile. I don’t know if my libido can hold out another 20 years for the perfect conditions to meet my future sexy extraterrestrial wife.”

Despite the abundance of individuals showing up to towns across the path of totality, causing hotel and Airbnb prices to skyrocket to record highs, government officials insist there are no alien motherships in the space above Earth.

“This was basically the whole Storm Area 51 thing again,” said Patrick Franscisco, a spokesman for the Department of Defense. “Rather than Naruto running, we had grown ass adults staring at the sky like a turkey during a rainstorm. Like, just enjoy the event for what it is, use proper protection, and stop getting your hopes up for seeing anything otherworldly.”

However, as we reported earlier this week, all may not be as it seems with the eclipse. Leaked documents suggested that this phenomenon is actually a man-made event and a conspiracy of the U.S. government. This has led many people to ask how the government was capable of creating such highly advanced technology. For the true believers, the answer is simple.

“It’s aliens,” said Parnell. “It’s always aliens.”

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