Trump Administration Shows Genuine Democracy in Action on AI name change

WASHINGTON D.C. — President Donald Trump demonstrated the enduring power of participatory democracy this week by asking the American people, or at least the portion of the American people who follow him on Truth Social, to decide what artificial intelligence should be called.

Trump posted a poll asking users to choose among “Superior Intelligence,” “Extreme Intelligence” and “Supreme Intelligence,” arguing that “Artificial Intelligence” was inaccurate and “very ineloquent.”

It may be the best example of democracy in action the country has seen from the administration, allowing ordinary Americans to participate directly in the machinery of government from the comfort of their toilets.

Trump eventually narrowed the competition before announcing at the United Nations on Tuesday that the federal government would begin referring to artificial intelligence as “super intelligence.”

“It sounds much better,” Trump said. “It is much better, and it’s much more accurate.”

Political scientists have traditionally described democracy as a system involving representative institutions, elections, constitutional restraints and public participation.

Apparently, they forgot social media polls.

Vice President JD Vance praised the president’s approach while seated comfortably on his emotional support couch.

“Daddy understands people,” Vance said to a crowd of Colorado State University students, slipping his words in-between an incredible amount of booing. “He’s super cool. He’s incredibly in touch with society. Other presidents hired scientists and experts and formed commissions. Daddy posts a poll. That’s efficiency.”

Vance met with the press following this speech, aides transported his favorite couch to the Colorado State University green room so he would have something familiar and comforting. Vance paused to adjust himself on the couch.

Several questionable stains were visible between the cushions. Alpine 6 Action News asked the vice president about them.

“They were here when I got here,” Vance said.

The crowd outside could be heard booing again.

Trump’s initial survey offered three alternatives to artificial intelligence, with Superior Intelligence eventually emerging as the strongest contender. Supreme Intelligence was subsequently eliminated from consideration, leaving Americans with the kind of tense runoff election usually reserved for Senate seats and choosing a new Mountain Dew flavor.

Trump ultimately bypassed the finalists anyway and announced “super intelligence.”

Democracy had spoken.

The president had listened.

Then he picked something else.

Tad Crater, spokesperson for the Useless Acronym Selection Committee, said the administration still missed an obvious opportunity.

“They should call it SuperArtificial Intelligence,” Crater said. “SA for short.”

Crater nodded thoughtfully, “Because we all know how much Republicans love SA.”

The administration has also discussed creating an “AI Force” as Trump argues the United States should accelerate development of the technology rather than allow concerns about its potential dangers to slow the industry.

Critics have spent years warning that artificial intelligence could transform employment, warfare, surveillance, misinformation and possibly humanity itself.

Trump, meanwhile, successfully identified what his administration considers the most immediate problem, the name sucks.

At press time, Alpine 6 Action News had launched its own poll asking whether Congress should henceforth be known as Superior Congress, Extreme Congress or Supreme Congress.

“None of the above” was winning with 97% of the vote.